Discipling Men

The Three Common Mistakes

1. Lack of Intentionality

During a trip to Maine several years ago, Jeff Kisiah observed a common scene from a ministry display table in a church foyer. He discovered this is the typical approach in the 800+ churches he had consulted with during his nationwide tour to 42 States. Most churches tend to focus on the other 3 sub-groups in the congregation… Women, Student,s and Children.

While we definitely support discipleship efforts with Women, Students & Children, and offer instruction about an “All-Inclusive” mindset, we are constantly having to raise the awareness level for reaching & discipling men.

How intentional is your church in reaching & discipling men?

2. Lack of Multiple Entry Points

Kisiah continued with stating that during his 3 decades as a Men’s Pastor, he learned the importance of having numerous “on ramps” for enlisting men in the B4MS (Battle 4 Men’s Souls). Too many leaders only provide entry points on the “deep end” of the discipleship continuum such as:

  • In-Depth Bible Studies
  • Leadership Training Modules
  • High Commitment Venues

All Activities = Ministry of “Hanging Out”

Churches get frustrated when the men “on the fringe” remain disinterested or disconnected. We must provide a balance in our approach and offer entry points on the “wide end”. In my experience, I have seen God work uniquely in the lives of men through these natural rhythms:

  • College Football Games
  • Drive Time Fellowship
  • Hiking Trips
  • Racing Events
  • Classic Car Shows
  • TV Viewing parties
  • Wilderness Outings
  • Camping Trips
  • Brass Band Concerts
  • Archery Range

How balanced is your approach in reaching ALL Types of men?

3. Knowing Your Men

For a Sports Coach, it is imperative for them to know their players.

1-on-1 Coach-Player meetings would most likely take place during these strategic times:

  • Pre-practice & post-practice
  • Pre-game & post-game
  • Preseason & post-season

As a Men’s Ministry Leader we need to ministered out of a “coaching grid”. When we study the Life of Jesus we find His approach to be more “life-on-life” than any other method.

John 10:27 references His example.

The sheep that are My own hear My voice and listen to Me… I KNOW them… and they follow Me.

The tribe that I grew up in focused on 2 of the 3 key principles from this verse:

  • Our Listening (10:27a)
  • Our Following (10:27c)
  • But there wasn’t much emphasis on:
  • His Knowing (10:27b)

If Jesus knew His men, shouldn’t we know ours?

Here are some practical suggestions I would offer for consideration:

  • Create a Roster – make a comprehensive list of every man you have an affiliation with on/off your campus
  • Recruiting Trips – be strategic in outreach to spiritually disconnected husbands, dads, etc. whose wives & kids are currently involved
  • Locker Room – ask God for wisdom and discernment as you maintain a “read” on your men.
  • Analysis – be willing to invest some 1-1 time with guys to gauge what is happening in their journey of faith.
  • Mentoring Sessions – discipleship venues are when players go to practice…be willing to challenge the “Allen Iverson” mentality of avoiding or underestimating practice (discipleship)
  • Game Plan– give your men encouraging feedback on how you observe God working in them and through them
  • Road Trips – take your men to some men’s conferences, etc. in your region of the country for Kingdom Networking
  • Scouting Reports – assist in giving your men a full understanding of the schemes of The Enemy and his methods of spiritual warfare
  • Awards Night – at the end of every season (September – May), we would have a special night to offer commendation and a year in review
  • Off-Season Workouts – the summer months focused on several key objectives:
  1. Father’s Day Outreach
  2. Short-Term Mission Trips
  3. Family-oriented Outings
  4. Individual Development
  • Men’s Survey – this is a crucial strategy…you will never fully “Know” Your Men until you utilize this approach…

A sample Survey can be provided upon request by sending an email to info@capefearmen.net 


Feel free to contact us with any questions.

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